The Knave of Hearts is a one-act play by Louise Saunders and illustrated by Maxfield Parrish. In it, Violetta makes wonderful tarts. or so everyone says. When she is called by the King of Hearts to make some tarts, she goes through a lavish presentation. When done, everyone exits. Violetta spills her secret to the Knave. She can’t cook. The tarts are awful. Not wanting to be banished, the Knave devises a plan to steal the tarts and dispose of them.
POMPDEBILE (impressively). Lords and ladies of the court, this is an important moment in the history of our reign. The Lady Violetta, whom you love and respect—that is, I mean to say, whom the ladies love and the lords—er—respect, is about to prove whether or not she be fitted to hold the exalted position of Queen of Hearts, according to the law, made a thousand years ago by Pompdebile the Great, and steadily followed ever since. She will prepare with her own delicate,white hands a dish of pastry. This will be judged by the two finest pastry cooks in the land. (BLUE HOSE and YELLOW HOSE bow deeply.)
If their verdict be favorable, she shall ride through the streets of the city on a white palfrey, garlanded with flowers. She will be crowned, the populace will cheer her, and she will reign by our side, attending to the domestic affairs of the realm, while we give our time to weightier matters. This of course you all understand is a time of great anxiety for the Lady Violetta. She will appear worried— (To CHANCELLOR) The palfrey is in readiness, we suppose.
CHANCELLOR. It is, Your Majesty.
POMPDEBILE. Garlanded with flowers?
CHANCELLOR. With roses, Your Majesty. KNAVE (bowing) The Lady Violetta prefers violets, Your Majesty.
POMPDEBILE. Let there be a few violets put in with the roses—er— We are ready for the ceremony to commence. We confess to a slight nervousness unbecoming to one of our station. The Lady Violetta, though trying at times, we have found—er—shall we say—er—satisfying?
KNAVE (bowing) Intoxicating, Your Majesty?
CHANCELLOR (shortly) His Majesty means nothing of the sort.
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